there are WAVES in my boat....

As I was doing my devotions this week, I came across a very familiar passage in Matthew - the story of Jesus calming the storm. (if you want to read it, click on the title of the post and it will take you there...) I think I've heard this story almost a million times, with almost a million different angles and themes. Each time I've heard the story, the disciples always get bashed because of their lack of faith.

This time, when I read it, I was amazed at how much faith they DID have.

Think about it.

They get into the boat. Jesus falls asleep. A storm comes up.

Now, this is not a little storm. It's a BIG storm. v24 says, "Suddenly, a terrible storm came up, with WAVES BREAKING INTO THE BOAT." (Mark says that "high waves began to break into the boat until it was nearly full of water." (4:37))

So then the disciples freak out, wake Jesus up and tell him that they're pretty sure that they're all going to die.

And then we all bash the disciples because Jesus tells them that they don't have enough faith.

But think about it.

There are waves breaking into the boat.

DUDE -- that is one huge storm. These are not little waves. And these are not people who are unfamiliar with the weather. They're FISHERMEN. And the waves are cresting in the middle of the lake. Into their boat.

The boat is getting full.

And Jesus is sleeping.

Now, I've been on some water in my day, and I quite enjoy it. I love ferries, and boats, and swimming. I've been on the ocean when it is raining, and there are some pretty 'nice' waves. But nothing like this. They're fishermen. This is what they do. They practically live on the water. If they're freaking out, then I kinda believe that they're having a problem. I have a feeling that I would be freaking out too, if there were waves breaking into my boat.

So Jesus is sleeping. And they wake him up.

And Jesus looks at them and asks, "Why are you afraid?"

Uh....

Why am I afraid?? THERE ARE WAVES IN MY BOAT!!!

How big would the waves have had to have been for them to wake Jesus up? They were waiting. They waited beyond, what I think, would have been rationally normal. They waited through the wind. They waited through the rain. They waited through a little bit of water in the boat.

They waited until waves were cresting into their boat, and their boat was full.

They waited until, what they thought, was the very last possible second.

And then they woke Jesus up.

He was IT. He was their last chance. They thought they were going to die. And maybe they knew that he would tell them that they needed to have more faith.

My point is that they didn't wake him up at the first sign of danger. They waited until the end. Until all of their options had been exhausted. Until the end of the strength that they had.

And then Jesus says, "Why are you so afraid? You have so little faith."

And when I thought about it like this, those words almost seemed comforting.

Why are you afraid?

It's like a mom, asking her child why he's afraid - 'Why are you afraid? You know that I won't let anything happen to you.'

Why are you afraid?

And then he calms the water. He rebukes it. (He doesn't rebuke the disciples!)

Why are you afraid?

And everything is quiet.

The whole story made me think of my own life. So often, I think I have so much faith. I'm waiting on God - for an answer, for him to rescue me out of a situation, for strength, for whatever.
I FEEL like I'm waiting until there's nothing left. No more strength, no more options, nothing.

So I freak out, and God looks at me and goes, "why are you afraid? you know that I'll never give you anything more than you can handle. You have so much to learn about what I can do. You have so little faith. But next time, you'll have a little more. And the next time after that, you'll have more..."

You have so little faith.

What would have happened if the disciples hadn't woken Jesus up? How would he have changed their lives? What would have been different? Would their boat have sunk, and they would have had to trust him in new ways? Would Jesus have woken up and calmed the storm himself?

I think that no matter how long the disciples would have waited, they still would have gotten the same response.
Because there's always more to learn.

There's always more faith. More trust.

Jesus always wants to push us further than where we think we can go.

You have so little faith, but keep trusting.

He's got us in the palm of his hand, even when we think we're at the absolute, final end of everything.

Even when there are waves in our boats.

Be strong and take heart, all you who put your hope in the LORD! Trust me in your times of trouble, and I will rescue you, and you will give me glory.
(Psalm 31:24, Psalm 50:15)