setlao na ka

School is done! That is incredible! The week was incredibly fast - I feel like I might have possibly blinked twice and gotten a couple of hours sleep. (which isn't true, because I went to bed at 8:30 on Wednesday night...) Anyway, that's what it felt like. Thrown in there were a few birthdays, a couple of field trips, report cards, and a large end of the year party.

I managed to clean out my classroom with Deona on Friday after everyone left, and we thought about the year and how much the kids changed over time. I vividly remember setting UP my classroom, and putting up everything that I was taking down - writing names on books, dividing the kids into groups and putting together the calendar. It was crazy to take it all down. Last year was different. I took it all down, but I shoved it all in a big bag to keep for the next year.

How fast a year goes! A year is so long and so short all at the same time. A year is enough time to get involved in someone's life, and to change it. A year is enough time to learn many things, and change in many ways, and a year is definately enough time to change the world.

There are 3 or 4 students that totally stick out in my mind right now, although ALL of them were awesome and important. The first was Nat, who was one of the only students who seemed to realize that after today, there was no more K3, and no more Miss Rachel. She just sat on my lap and burried her head in my shoulder and said my name over and over. It was cute. She has changed incredibly to become one of the most sensitive caring students. She used to be really rough, but she has surprised me and become more and more gentle. She still is fairly tomboyish, and she goes and does absolutely everything the boys do, but I haven't seen her throw a punch since August, and everytime she accidentally hurts someone else, she bursts into tears. She has become so, so interested in Christianity and in the bible, and in God, it's amazing. She always has the best questions, and she seems to really understand. She tells me that she asked God for a white heart, and I believe her.
Month was the second student who sticks out in my mind - I gave him my Children's Bible on Friday, and he was SO EXITED!! It was awesome to see his eyes get wide! He asked me three times, "But why you give to me Miss Rachel??" "Because you like to listen to it so much." Then the wide eyes again. He tried to carry it around with him while he was trying to eat icecream. He almost dropped the icecream a few times before he plopped himself down on the floor to look at his new treasure. If Jesus returned today, I believe with all my heart that Month and Nat would be rising on the clouds too. It's such an awesome thing to see childlike faith.

The last one I'll tell you about today is Mind. Mind comes from a very troubled home, and he resisted coming to school every day so much that sometimes Kru Nok would lock him in the classroom to keep him from running outside to the parking lot. At first Mind was incredibly frustrating because he didn't understand anything, he never spoke and he was very very angry all the time. As time went on though, I began to see that he was just looking for love and attention. So Deona and I started to give him positive attention, read to him in tutoring and give him hugs. And then he started to stand really close to me, and the before I knew it, he would resist coming to school, but only out of the precident he had set. He would resist with a smile. And although the frown would return and stayed plastered on his face for most of the day, he became fairly obedient and he could do a good amount of his work with help, and he would come over and sit on my lap voluntarily. By the end of most school days, he was like my second set of skin. He would stand so close to my desk while I was working that it was less of a pain to have him sit ON my lap than to stand so close to my elbow. Kru Jane liked to call him my shadow.

On Friday during our party, Mind huddled himself in a corner. I thought maybe he was sick, but he shook his head. I thought he was tired, but he shook his head. I thought maybe he was hungry or shy but to those too, he shook his head. Finally I asked him if he was sad. And he nodded. I read to him what I wrote in his yearbook - that God would take care of him and that God was with him all the time, even if he was happy or sad or angry or scared. I told him that his teacher next year would love God very much, just like me, and I told him that his teacher next year would be very kind. To the first few things he just sat and looked at me. But for the last two, he shook his head and scowled. I think he felt abandoned. The poor kid! He says he hates his dad, and he doesn't love his mom, and now the only place where he feels safe is about to be shaken up, and he couldn't deal with it. I think that was the hardest goodbye I've ever had to make. Eventually his nanny showed up, and he went home, but I think his heart was broke. I just pray that God will be very close to him and transform him from the inside. As of now, I can't do anything else to help him - I can't change his parents, I can't change his feelings, I can't even make him feel loved at school. But I can pray, and that's more important. If you think of Mind, pray for him too.

Like I said before, a year is enough time to change the world. I have been with them for a year, and that is enough time for God to change how they act, how they think, and how they will live. How incredible!! Hopefully, the lives of these kids will be different because they spent a year with me, because I'm trying my best to follow God. God doesn't need me, but he lets me have the privilege to be used. I feel so honored to have been a part of these lives for this long. What a great blessing these two years have been!

r

(by the way - setlao means done and na ka is polite)