surprised by ...

I have lilacs on my desk today -- they're really a marvellous thing. Growing up, we had lilacs at the end of our driveway, and they kind of remind me of exams, and tests, and being in school when I'd rather be outside.

But today, I was outside (albeit for a brief period of time). I dropped off an application for a major scholarship at the University today. The fact that I dropped it off at all is a God thing -- you see, I printed off the application in March. But forgot about it until last Friday. But, with the help of the people around me, I managed to get all the reference letters and short answer questions done, my transcripts printed, and the whole thing in by the deadline... (which was today.)

Now that I've said all that, I will now share with you the reason I entitled this post the way that I did...

This past weekend, I attended YC, which (for those of you who don't know) is a massive youth conference designed for junior high/high school kids. They bring in a bunch of big names, and pump everyone up with smoke machines and over-priced hotdogs. I got tickets this year for one reason, and one reason only.

David Crowder was coming.

So, against my better judgement, I acquired tickets, and Robbyn and I planned to go.

I'm extremely skeptical of all things "mass market", specifically on the worship front. Often when cds or books or products are marketed for Christians, they scream "YOU AREN'T LIVING FOR GOD UNLESS YOU'RE [listening to this cd, reading this book, wearing this t-shirt]. I find that "worship" cds are some of the worst things for this (pretty much second only to "Testa-mints" (spreading the WORD through good breath?) and cheap bible verse spinning tops. ).
I don't like to see worship as a commodity: you can't SELL worship.

You can sell a song, you can even sell best-seller songs, or #1 hit songs. But the WORSHIP -- that's more than a song. That's the heart attitude behind your life. That's the way we live.

Sure, you can worship through songs, but to sell music as THE WAY TO WORSHIP is not right.

Often, I find that conferences like these (although they may not intend to do this), often end up SELLING worship.

BUT, that is not the point of this post. That is only the background.

I went to YC.

David Crowder was great. He's a funny Texan with an amazing view of God, and of worship. The band was great.

The following band was not, semi-proving my own point in my own head. I was annoyed by the "mass market" approach to the concert, and we actually left half way through.

But we went back on Saturday to see United, who ended up suprising me by their honesty.

The biggest suprise for me, though, was Sunday morning. A band called Leeland played -- a young 18 yr old and a bunch of his church friends. But although I began skeptical, I ended up standing there and crying.

He knew what it was about. He GOT it -- worship is about God, and praising the one who redeemed us. He's 18, and he's got it. Everything he said, everything he did, everything that he sung -- it all pointed to God, and encouraged the 16000 people at YC to praise God.

I was surprised and blessed and challenged by a young guy, who chases hard after God, and worships him with all his heart.

May we all come to that point on our journey, where we seek hard after God, and find him. May we all learn to worship better and better, offering our lives as living sacrifices.

May we fix our eyes on God, the author and finisher of our faith.

the "i hate living in the city" rant

Some of you may not know this, but I hate living in city. I hate being surrounded by concrete and cars, I dislike the constant sound of the buses stopping at the bus stop, and I don't like the way it smells. The most frustrating thing about the city, though, is that I can't see the sky.

I can't see the sunsets, I can't see the clouds, and I can't see the stars.

All this to say that today, I 'had' to go out to an acreage where we're hosting our Sunday School picnic for all the volunteer teachers & helpers. So Tonya and I walked around their house, (which is on the lake), and played with their dog (who is very friendly) and took a walk around the trail that circles their property (which took us 45 minutes).

I got to see the white fluffy clouds and feel the warm sun. I got spiderwebs all over me from walking between trees. I smelled the wonderful smells of spring: of dirt, of water and of grass. I heard the birds and got my feet all wet and dirty. I even got my first mosquito bite.

And it was glorious. Truly, God made a marvelous world to live in. We were about 15 minutes from the church, but isolated in the middle of nowhere, watching the ducks swim on the slough and the dog splash into the water causing them all to fly away. I looked at all the different trees, all of which will bear fruit in season, and was reminded that God holds all things in the palm of his hand. All winter those trees sat, and sat, and sat. But now, they're sprouting leaves, changing color, and getting ready to do what they were made to do.

I was blessed today, by an unsuspecting couple, who let me wander around their back-forty for an hour, and see afresh all the ways that God is faithful.

And I came to the conclusion (once again) that God didn't create me to live in the city.
I need to see the sky.

a long absence...

So, where have I been?, you might wonder.

And that would be a very valid question. Because, (as it turns out), I haven't logged into blogger for almost 3 weeks....

So, here's what has been going on:

1. I finished exams.
2. I vegetated for a while.
3. I got a job.

YeeHAW. Everything worked out for me to get a job at church, as the Preschool Summer Intern. So I'm now planning summer curriculum, and coordinating all sorts of fun preschool stuff.

I am very glad. But I am also very busy. And I spend a lot of time in front of a computer right now. So sitting here writing more stuff is at the bottom of the list of things to do.

But I thought you should know that God gave me an AWESOME job, where I know all the people I work with, and where I can still lead worship (like I am this weekend), go on holidays, and attend all my friends' weddings. So, a big thank you to everyone who prayed. And... I'll catch you later :)
r

there are WAVES in my boat....

As I was doing my devotions this week, I came across a very familiar passage in Matthew - the story of Jesus calming the storm. (if you want to read it, click on the title of the post and it will take you there...) I think I've heard this story almost a million times, with almost a million different angles and themes. Each time I've heard the story, the disciples always get bashed because of their lack of faith.

This time, when I read it, I was amazed at how much faith they DID have.

Think about it.

They get into the boat. Jesus falls asleep. A storm comes up.

Now, this is not a little storm. It's a BIG storm. v24 says, "Suddenly, a terrible storm came up, with WAVES BREAKING INTO THE BOAT." (Mark says that "high waves began to break into the boat until it was nearly full of water." (4:37))

So then the disciples freak out, wake Jesus up and tell him that they're pretty sure that they're all going to die.

And then we all bash the disciples because Jesus tells them that they don't have enough faith.

But think about it.

There are waves breaking into the boat.

DUDE -- that is one huge storm. These are not little waves. And these are not people who are unfamiliar with the weather. They're FISHERMEN. And the waves are cresting in the middle of the lake. Into their boat.

The boat is getting full.

And Jesus is sleeping.

Now, I've been on some water in my day, and I quite enjoy it. I love ferries, and boats, and swimming. I've been on the ocean when it is raining, and there are some pretty 'nice' waves. But nothing like this. They're fishermen. This is what they do. They practically live on the water. If they're freaking out, then I kinda believe that they're having a problem. I have a feeling that I would be freaking out too, if there were waves breaking into my boat.

So Jesus is sleeping. And they wake him up.

And Jesus looks at them and asks, "Why are you afraid?"

Uh....

Why am I afraid?? THERE ARE WAVES IN MY BOAT!!!

How big would the waves have had to have been for them to wake Jesus up? They were waiting. They waited beyond, what I think, would have been rationally normal. They waited through the wind. They waited through the rain. They waited through a little bit of water in the boat.

They waited until waves were cresting into their boat, and their boat was full.

They waited until, what they thought, was the very last possible second.

And then they woke Jesus up.

He was IT. He was their last chance. They thought they were going to die. And maybe they knew that he would tell them that they needed to have more faith.

My point is that they didn't wake him up at the first sign of danger. They waited until the end. Until all of their options had been exhausted. Until the end of the strength that they had.

And then Jesus says, "Why are you so afraid? You have so little faith."

And when I thought about it like this, those words almost seemed comforting.

Why are you afraid?

It's like a mom, asking her child why he's afraid - 'Why are you afraid? You know that I won't let anything happen to you.'

Why are you afraid?

And then he calms the water. He rebukes it. (He doesn't rebuke the disciples!)

Why are you afraid?

And everything is quiet.

The whole story made me think of my own life. So often, I think I have so much faith. I'm waiting on God - for an answer, for him to rescue me out of a situation, for strength, for whatever.
I FEEL like I'm waiting until there's nothing left. No more strength, no more options, nothing.

So I freak out, and God looks at me and goes, "why are you afraid? you know that I'll never give you anything more than you can handle. You have so much to learn about what I can do. You have so little faith. But next time, you'll have a little more. And the next time after that, you'll have more..."

You have so little faith.

What would have happened if the disciples hadn't woken Jesus up? How would he have changed their lives? What would have been different? Would their boat have sunk, and they would have had to trust him in new ways? Would Jesus have woken up and calmed the storm himself?

I think that no matter how long the disciples would have waited, they still would have gotten the same response.
Because there's always more to learn.

There's always more faith. More trust.

Jesus always wants to push us further than where we think we can go.

You have so little faith, but keep trusting.

He's got us in the palm of his hand, even when we think we're at the absolute, final end of everything.

Even when there are waves in our boats.

Be strong and take heart, all you who put your hope in the LORD! Trust me in your times of trouble, and I will rescue you, and you will give me glory.
(Psalm 31:24, Psalm 50:15)

well, it's finally over

I thought that this semester would NEVER END...

But, fortunately for me,

it has!!

I wrote my last exam yesterday afternoon, and now, I am looking forward to a great weekend, in which I will not worry about assignments, papers, or tests. (not even once!)

Thanks for sticking with me... I might post something more fun later. Maybe a photograph of the rabbit that's been hopping through our parking lot all morning. or something equally as fun....

r